Fools

Dudes, have you yet to accept the wonder and benevolence of bidets into your hearts? If so, I've got something to, shall we say, sweeten the pot for you. The CleanShot. A bidet that rinses and dries your junk, and then...

I'm not even going to pretend like a 5'6" LEGO minifigure - sorry, LEGO Maxifigure - isn't an April Fool's joke. Especially since, while the idea for the gag is a good one, LEGO couldn't put more than a modicum of effort...

The DudeIWantThat.com Vaccingles Night party pack contains everything you need to plan the perfect mixer for singles who have been vaccinated. In other words, all your beyond-horny friends, plus randos off the street...

The latest diet fad hits up the earliest years of life. Oh no, sorry, Intermittent Fasting for Babies, like intermittent fasting for adults, isn't a fad. And it isn't a diet. It's an eating pattern. It's a lifestyle...

Kill two birds - and save a baby - with one stone with the Nooklet Outlet. It's a safety plug for home electrical outlets that will both childproof the outgoing plug from Bzzzt!ing your curious kiddo, and provide an incoming...

Better grab a case of this Blinker Fluid while you can - it's on sale for 65% off, but as they say, blink(er) and you'll miss it...

Ha! An Aladdin's Lamp E-Cigarette! Some real family-friendly merch to launch in tandem with Disney's live-action rerelease. I wonder if the fresh and princely genie inside approves. And whether he's more partial to the...

Valyrian Steel Razors don't come with any replacement blades, and have none available to purchase. Because the blades attached to their respective iconic Game of Thrones weapon hilts never dull. And maybe also the cats...

A giant blizzard snows down on this 100% accurate replica of how Earth looks from space, depicting both the rightness of flat earthers, and proving there's no such thing as global warming! So suck it, sheeple!...

Live in a sketchy neighborhood? Getting bullied at school? UFC Ears are a simple and cheap self defense tool for people concerned for their personal safety in any location or environment...

Winter drivers are always thinking about ice scrapers and ice melt, iceScreens and anti-freeze, but no one ever remembers to stock up on headlight fluid. And what happens then, on those dark, snowy nights on the road...

Backcountry Bites is a drone-based outdoor meal delivery service hitting the scene - be it the woods, the beach, or the middle of the desert - today. Don't want to weigh down your pack with freeze-dried beef stroganoff...

I'm not sure how it's taken this long to add a Dinosaur Detection System to the home safety product sphere, but muchas danke to ThinkGeek for realizing how dangerous and prehistoric its absence was. Their model is modeled...

It's called The Harambed. Lucid Mattress says it's the bed of your memes. And I know if you've been meming at all over the past year, you've been meming about Harambe, haven't you? Well put on your PJs and snuggle in...

Common Fibers knows carbon fiber. Common Fibers knows the 1980s. And one look at The Coolest Fanny - aka The Manny Pack - aka The CF2 - and you know Common Fibers. Knows. Men. I for one have never wanted anything so hard...

While great for your joints I'm not so sure how good the Swim Desk is going to be for your computer and mobile phone. Definitely recommend keeping a vat of rice on hand while work-stroking at it. And also maybe an EMT...

Analog Watch Co.'s new Lunar Watch might be kinda pricey, but how many timepieces can say that they're made of a solid piece of genuine moon rock estimated to be older than: the human construct of time; humans themselves;...

If you thought nothing could beat off-roading on the weekends, imagine this: off-roading on-road during your weekly commutes and leisurely drives around the 'burbs. Jeep Germany's new Adventure Tires, on sale starting...

Want to pimp out your feet Google-style*? To avoid unpleasant collisions with other pedestrians, telephone poles, and public fountains that just came up out of frikkin' nowhere? To slap on your sneakers and never look...

Interlock? Dynotherms? Infracells? Mega thrusters? You won't be needing any of those for this Voltron. This 6-foot-tall, fleece-covered super robot isn't here to defend the universe, he's here to entertain and give your...

Welp, it shouldn't be hard to find someone to play the murder victim in this rendition of my favorite board game. What will be hard about playing Game of Thrones Clue: uh, playing Game of Thrones Clue. It's like taking...

Throw away the EL wire and chemical-laced makeup. If you want to look like a club kid, Doctor Manhattan, or a walking biohazard, come the end of 2015 all you'll have to do is gulp & glow. On top of injecting your blood...

I'm getting this lamp and putting it on my desk with a Krispy Kreme donut or a piece of gooey butter cake in the spotlight's dead center. It will be the first time ever some a-hole doesn't steal my food at work. Because...

Though we've long since entered the nuclear age, NERF has always inexplicably resisted foamifying the most powerful bomb in the world into a play toy for children. That is, until now. Dribble your drool upon the NERF...